Boys and tools
Saturday, February 21, 2009 by RockstarMama
I don’t get dudes.
My wonderfully rugged and manly husband just appeared in the backyard with a wheelbarrow full of tools and a load mysteriously-sourced lumber–the kind that has a number for a name (two by something).
I’m scared. Also, I was unaware that we owned a wheelbarrow. That’s a fun surprise.
Not only will he not tell me what he’s building, there seems to be an excessive amount of electric sawing and use of the nail gun. What is it with boys? It’s as if they are only happy if they’re engaging in an activity in which they can either:
-Get hurt
-Make a mess
-Annoy their wife
-Produce lots of noise
So far, I have been helpful by sitting nearby and periodically raising an eyebrow and/or provide comments such as:
“Is it crooked on purpose?” “What is it?”, and “If it’s hideous, we can throw it away, right?”
While I thought these were well-phrased and appropriate inquiries, I have thus far only been met with vague responses and grunts. There has also been a great deal of bending and measuring; fortunately the butt crack itself has not yet made an appearance. In an attempt to assist, our three year-old twins have been marching around the yard waving toolbox accessories probably not meant for toddlers and having conversations with my husband as follows:
Child: “Is this wood?”
Daddy: 
“Yep.”
Child: “What’s it for? Why is it big? Is this wood too? Is it heavy? Why is it heavy? Where did you get it? Was it in the garage? Did you go to the wood store? Can we go to the store? Can we get candy? I want candy. Can I have a lollypop? What are you doing?”
Daddy: “I’m making something.”
Child: “Is this a tool? Can I see it? What does this tool do? Why is it loud? Can I touch it? Can I hold the orange tool? Can I climb on that? Can I have that? Will you get me juice?”
Daddy: “Please go play by Mommy.”
Child: “Can I throw this? Why is that sharp? Is it brown? What are you doing? I have to go potty.”
It’s just so awesome.
Of course the wife’s dilemma is now that through the unspoken laws of marriage I am required to love whatever this wood-based item ends up becoming, as he has crafted it with his own two hands and spent at least an hour on it.
Also, there is the residual bonus of the fact that watching one’s husband get all sweaty and dirty being all manly with tools is preferrable to watching him, say, roll up the newspaper and head into the bathroom.
I’ll bet he smells all sawdusty. Mmm.
13 Responses to “Boys and tools”
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[...] husband, an electric saw, a nailgun, toddlers, and a manly need to build. Kaiton Berkley presents Boys and tools posted at RockstarMama: the [...]
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[...] Berkley presents Boys and tools posted at RockstarMama: the blog? Rockstar Mama the blog, saying, “A husband, an electric [...]
I stumbled upon your site, trying to find a good review about the Smooth Away. I have wisely decided against that product and found a jewel of a blog!
What was it that your husband ended up making?
Stupid Smooth Away. GAAAAA!
OHHHH… silly husband. The pic you see above was as good as it got. He claims he was going to at first make a “work bench.” I said… “for what?!?” His response? “To build stuff.” Halfway through the experience above, when it wasn’t going well, he decided instead to try to build a counter for an outdoor grill (eyebrow raise). Later he abandoned the project claiming the wood was no good. It’s just so awesome.
The sweet boy read my blog for the first time earlier in the week, and was not that amused by this post. He has been threatening since to leave a snarky (isn’t that word fun??) “wives just don’t understand”-type comment. I’m still waiting, though.
Thanks for the shout! Hope you come back soon, I’m going to post some new stuff.
Just recently got some free time to respond back. I’m sure you responded with something of the sort of obviously not needing a workbench to build things if he can build one without a workbench….I think I said that right…>.> Just read your Leg Magic review, loved it
Will try to think of fun ‘As seen on TV’ items to suggest! 
I found this funny, being a man, having a son, stuff does just appear out of thin air that my wife may never known we had.
Do tell, what did he make?
Whoops, nevermind! I’m floating on a cloud of Benadryl and didn’t even THINK to scroll down and see if you answered this already. D’oh!
Katie–Now see THAT would’ve been a good comeback.
IYAAYAS–Hilarious! Kind of like how we buy new shoes and “hide” them in the closet.
Christine–Benadryl can be blamed for lots of life’s problems. Our garage remains full of random wood pieces. I’m a little frightened.
At least I was not digging a hole and when asked said just diggin a hole.
LOL that all sounds oh so familiar.
Hey you think us wives could perhaps make a market place online of all these “unique hand crafted treasures” That at this moment arent quite finished, Crooked, or have no apparent use. (and so on)
Seriously.. dare I dream.. we could be rich
Im patiently awaiting your next blog yay what will it be.. Taps fingers together anxiously.
Husband–I love you, baby! Thank you for hand-modeling for the ShamWow review.
Chick–How entrepreneurial of you! We could store them in the same place we put all of our old nail polish colors and makeup we don’t want and clothes we keep even thought we don’t like them anymore, etc.
Amazing, the self control I’ve learned in my 49 years!
I read this through and only used the “C” word once and was laughing when I uttered it!
True, wives don’t understand – but to be fair, husbands don’t either and likely never will.
At least I can say with a high degree of verifiable truth that my projects not only get finished but “are something” when completed.
Keep up the good work, Kiddo – you’re a great read!
Blessings,
Barney Oatmeal